Until a few months ago, I was a distributor for doTERRA and I thought I’d like to help people find natural solutions to their health concerns. I thought I’d eventually open a shop and hold in-person classes to teach people how to use the oils and I truly believed this. I believe it so much, I was a distributor for over four years.
However, all the while I was saying all of this, I only held online classes because in-person classes filled me with anxiety and dread. Everything I said, whether online or in person was verbatim what was told to me, or what was given to me in the form of resources for business building and education. Very good information, to be sure. This is not to say that I didn’t mean what I was presenting. I did. This is not to say that I didn’t use the oils on a daily basis. I did and still do. What it did say to me was that when it came down to it, it wasn’t my jam. Ultimately, I had no interest whatsoever in actually building a business with doTERRA.
I was lying to myself and the whole time, I kept saying, “If only I knew the people so-and-so knows,” “It must be nice to be able to do [insert whatever I claimed was holding me back].” “When we take our next trip, I’ll be sure to actually work the business.” All of these were lies I told myself to explain away my self-perceived failures and others’ successes AND it was a way to provide excuses as to why I wasn’t actually working toward the goals I claimed to have.
If it really was a goal to teach in-person classes at a shop, I’d have been lining them up at my house, at other people’s houses, in coffee shops, etc, like so many on my team were doing to great success. Some may claim I was the victim of an MLM, but I don’t think this is true. I had people below me pass me up. I saw the business working for others.
It was simply that I didn’t really want to do it when I got real with myself and let go of the expectations I thought were on my shoulders.
We do this often, right? We let the idea of something being “good” make us feel obligated to do it and if we don’t, we make up excuses why we’re not doing it. If we see something as a “should do” in our lives and we’re not doing it, we make up excuses as to why we haven’t taken steps to make it happen.
It’s a protection thing.
We lie to ourselves and say that others have it better:
- “She doesn’t work, so of course she can go to the gym and get in shape.”
- “He makes more money, of course he can give to the charity.”
- “They get to travel, so of course they’re happy.”
- “It must be nice to be able to go on a vacation.”
- “If healthy eating wasn’t so expensive, I’d be skinny, too.”
Whatever the situation, there will be an excuse for someone who isn’t actually interested in doing much to get what they claim they want.
Here’s another example from my own life:
I want to get some chickens – more specifically, I’d love to have Lavender Orpingtons, as pictured here from backyardchickens.com. I’d love to have fresh eggs on a daily basis. I absolutely love the taste of fresh eggs from grass fed hens. I discussed this with my husband for the first time about two years ago and guess what?
We don’t even have a coop built.
The worst part is my daughter really wants chickens, probably because unlike her mother who will be taking care of them, she’s not thinking about super early mornings in the cold winter air, or organizing a chicken sitter while we travel, or cleaning out the coop, or worrying about the dreaded day a fox or illness takes one of them away. All she’s thinking of is “Oh how cute they are!”
Yes, they really are cute.
No, I’m not completely sure I want to have them in our yard, and this is the only reason we don’t have them.
I could make excuses (and have):
- Coop plans are so expensive (even though we could get the wood cheaper ourselves and download a free plan)
- My husband is not sure he wants chickens, so I don’t want to force the issue (this is true, but really, blaming a spouse is the oldest excuse in the books, let’s be real).
- We don’t have the money (chickens and caring for them is actually no more expensive then having a dog or cat).
So yes, I’ve made the excuses for why I haven’t taken ANY of the steps needed to actually acquire the chickens I so openly claim I want to have.
In truth, I’m not sure I want to fool with them and I don’t want them to cramp our travels.
There, I said it.
Someone out there is likely thinking, “It’s not hard to organize care for chickens so you can travel,” and he or she is absolutely right, I’m sure, but if I stop lying to myself, I could just say – It’s just not my jam.
At least not right now in my life and there’s nothing to be said against that. The truth is the truth and it’s powerful.
I had to start getting real with myself this year. I was to the point where I couldn’t even stand to hear my own bullshit. Like, seriously. As far as occupation goes, there is nothing else I really want to do with my life except: write, travel, homeschool, and have a garden. How do I know this?
Because I don’t make excuses about them. I simply do them every chance I get.
We may not always get elaborate destinations like Vegas or the beach, or fun road trips down Route 66, but we do make a point to get away somewhere to explore, even if it’s just in our local area. Travel and exploration is a priority in our family and I’m so grateful for any adventure we take together.
I write every single day and while I might not be working on the novel I claim I want to write, the writing and reading I’m doing every day fulfills me greatly and I am so grateful.
I have a garden. It’s not huge. Last year it was fairly productive, but I was still learning about food production and there were issues. That said, I absolutely love it and I am already planning the garden for next year. I have thirty garlic bulbs out there now. I’m not sitting around complaining about the hilly yard and how hard it is to work. I’m doing what I can, as I can and I’m grateful for every little thing that grows out there.
Homeschooling has grown to be one of the most amazing decisions I’ve ever made and I love it. I love having my daughter home with me and taking her out for fun outings. I’m so grateful for every single moment we have together, even the ones where we feel frustrated. It happens. We’re human. There are days when it’s tough. There are days when other things in life make homeschooling more challenging, but that’s okay. We manage because it’s a priority in our lives.
I’m writing this because I am just so sick of the victim mentality I see so often today. Young, white middle class people are playing the victim card and I just can’t stand it. I got so sick of it in my own life and hearing it on an almost daily basis from others (mostly online), I just want to vomit.
Just recently, someone posted: “I wish we all had time to farm.”
Hang on a second. I think my eye balls just rolled out of my head and into the corner.
Are you kidding me?
This is the lack mentality that serves only to keep this person exactly where he is. This person has no real desire to farm. If he had the time and the money to do so, he’d walk right down to the grocery store and likely fill his cart with the same things he does now, because we all do this, don’t we? I can literally go to the grocery store and not even take a list and basically come home with the same stuff I bought two weeks ago. I can then come home and claim there’s not much to eat.
Nothing changes until we make a conscious effort to make changes
We are creatures of habit and our brains are wired to find the dangers to avoid and to find what’s wrong in the world. We live such lives of comfort that this part of our brains is going haywire and so we consider any sort of change to be dangerous. We think this to the point that we stay in our comfort zones where we slowly kill ourselves with drink or drugs, or bad foods. We isolate ourselves from the rest of the world until we’re so depressed we can’t stand it. We spend thousands of dollars on products that we claim we want to eventually build into a business. We lie to ourselves and make up excuses as to why we haven’t made any of the changes we claim we want to make.
I don’t know.
Maybe I sound like a know-it-all. I seem to be good at doing that and pissing people off, but I just can’t stand it anymore. I just know that for me, I prefer to take some responsibility for my life and for what’s going on in the world. Yep, even the economy. Every time I place and online order, I’m contributing to corporatism and environmental issues, and the crushing of small business in our country. Every time I order a Big Mac, instead of making healthier choices, I’m hurting my body and risking my health. Every time I put a spade in the ground to dig out weeds and plant heirloom, open-pollinated seeds, I’m contributing something good to the Earth. Everything I do and buy plays a role in the world around me. To me, this is empowering, not oppressive.
We can’t just identify problems in our lives and the world and then blame everyone else except ourselves for the problems. We can’t blame “Society,” when Society doesn’t even exist without EACH OF US. We can’t blame the government when we keep voting in the same types of people to govern and speak for us.
We. You and me.
WE are Society.
We. You and me.
We are the voters.
Nothing has ever or will ever change if you and I don’t make changes.
It’s just that simple and when it comes down to it, we either make changes or we make excuses and either way, time passes.
A Musing Mother
Hi! My name is Theresa and I'm a wife, mom of three, and grandma to two. I am a Nature lover and a follower of Christ. I live in an old farmhouse on the river where I homeschool our daughter. Most days, I can be found reading, making nature-inspired products, & gardening. I also enjoy traveling with my family, exploring cool local places, and helping out others where I am able. On the blog, I must about life, love, and learning.